I am not a wife or girlfriend of a guy who enjoys the lingerie fetish. I have had guys ask why I find pleasure and enjoyment with guys in lingerie. I was slowly brought into the world of a pantie/lingerie fetish. I have a good friend or two who introduced me to this fetish. At times it is difficult for me to answer this question, but it is sensual, erotic and I get warm fuzzies all over. To be able to caress touch and slide hands over a guy in soft fabrics is erotic. My palms get itchy. I want to pleasure him in sexual ways as much as I want to be pleasured. I have been told I am unique one of a kind, I don't think I am. I am certain there are wives and girlfriends who would find pleasure with their guy in lingerie, wives and girl friends need to be brought carefully into the lingerie fetish world. To go beyond the lingerie fetish is another discussion.
You need to help your wife/girlfriend be comfortable with the pantie/lingerie fetish. I believe this to be important to a relationship. Taking the wife or girl friend into consideration will make any relationship stronger. Explaining your fetish may take time on your part. This acceptance will not happen over night if at all. Tolerance maybe the word instead of acceptance. Think, what are the right words, the right time and place. Definitely not after a long day coming in from work or when uncertain feelings arise or when other issues are being discussed. Don't wait to be 'caught'. To be caught is frightening to the wife or girlfriend. The feeling of being cheated on is difficult on the wife or girlfriend. It is more then the cheating it is a sense of betrayal and fear of abandonment. It is a emotional roller coaster for women. Like any new development in a relationship you need to explain or discuss your pantie fetish handling it carefully. Dragging out all your lingerie at the beginning probably isn't a good place to begin. Neither is flaunting your fetish in her face. Don't even bother with self portraits you have taken. You need to use your words to explain your desire for wearing lingerie. At the same time you need to talk about your sexuality. She might think right away that you are gay or bi anything but heterosexual. You need to explain how wearing panties makes you feel, why you like to wear panties and possibly other items. Just mentioning anything related to the idea that it makes you feel feminine or you like the girly feeling you get when wearing lingerie will scare her, if you are into wearing womens clothing that is for another discussion. Its a concept most women don't or won't understand. Remember she got into the relationship because she thought you were all guy, 100% masculine any other sexual identity will have her concerned about her role in the relationship. What role will she have in the relationship? Will she be competing with you, who has the more beautiful lingerie or who looks better wearing the lingerie. You enjoying your fetish isn't a competition with your wife or girlfriend. Remember she got into this relationship knowing or thinking you were all guy. This might take time for her to accept and trust you once she acknowledges your lingerie fetish. Once she acknowledges your fetish her trust will need to be restored. The doubts will be there and the questions will resurface, especially at times when she sees more items being bought. Don't be selfish there 2 of you in the relationship, it's not all about you.
Women are emotional sexual beings. Which makes us different from men, when dealing with relationship issues. We deal with issues with our hearts first, then we deal with issues using our heads.